By The Power of Grayskull...

I have the Power.
If you don't know where that's from, you are too young to be reading this!

Just like the homo-erotic cartoon that was He-Man, I too have the power, well at least for 10 seconds. I better be more clear, 10 seconds in cycling, not in the bedroom ladies, that's more like 44 second power.

Who Wants to Grab My Sword?

This weekend after a nice 3 day beer & tequila induced rest, I finally got my butt back on the road bike. Not to sound proud at all, but I have been feeling good on the bike. My diet has me hovering right at 150 pounds, full of leafy green goodness and fish & pasta. My natural fruit protein smoothies are a nice substitute for fat ass ice-cream & they taste oh so yummy. I'll share my power protein with you.

Buy 1 pound of fresh strawberries (about $1.50 fresh vs $4 for frozen strawberries). Freeze the strawberries. Once frozen add 5 ounces of fresh frozen strawberries, 1 cup of low fat Probiotic yogurt (whatever flavor you like), 3 ounces of Homestead Creamery Milk, and 1 scoop of Designer Whey Vanilla Protein. Blend in the Blender (add ice if you want more like an ice cream consistency) and enjoy! Pretty soon you'll have 10 second power capable of blowing by Cat 2 monkeys while still being an alcoholic Cat 4! Who says you can't have your cake & eat it too! (Well don't eat cake fat ass, you're supposed to be a cyclist, eat a smoothie). At least this way you can rationalize all the alcohol you drink.

So back to gay He-Man. I've been mountain biking a lot lately & it has helped my with my leg speed, spinning madly up muddy mountains. So this translates nicely to the road, spinning up those gears like you would in the forest on short power climbs were you still need to remain seated to apply even, fast pressure to the pedals.

So after 3 days of heavy boozing and one day of recovery, I managed to put out my highest 10 second power to date, 1182 watts for 10sec. Some lightweight "Climber" jokers would be happy to see 1182W as their instantaneous max power. My fat ass has now held that for 10 seconds. That's enough power to run a vibrator for 30 minutes *
*(not confirmed)

1339W max, 1182W 10 seconds... all the more reason to not tow my fat, wheel-sucking ass to the line.

No No, You're Doing it Wrong

I may be going to Hell in a Bucket, but at least I'm enjoying the ride.

Tonight the Capt found himself back at the Floyd Country Store where clogging & flat foot dancing are the name of the game. All it takes is a big smile (fueled by booze) and you can meet all ages of nice ladies. I danced with a nice lady with questionable dentistry, Rhon"DD"a, and a nice lady who tried to undo my two left feet & teach me how to Two Step.

And then it dawned on me... I'm doing"it" all wrong. All the nights spent in downtown Blacksburg hitting on clueless college girls was wrong. There are plenty of good, old fashioned country ladies who can appreciate a cocky guy from NJ & the Marines. Seems to be a good combination of testosterone and sexual innuendo.

Yet, through all the clever banter and cheesy smile, I know at the end of the night I still am a semi old fashioned guy. So I go home and follow the Vincent Vega method of ending the night with some morals.