Sweet July

A little over one day to go and July 2009 passes on into memories. Enduring this month of massive change has been my only goal and with less than 36 hours to go I think I'll make it through.
A quick recap:
Matt & Rhonda, my two bestest friends in Blacksburg move to Boston to start their careers (good luck ya chowda-heads!)
I spent an amazing week in london with Becky.
I spent 5 great days mountain biking with friends in West Virginia.
I spent over 3 great weeks with Nanda hiking and just chilling around town.
I had various weekend excursions to visit some friends and spend quality time talking and reconnecting.
I talked to friends from High School that I haven't spoken to in years.

All seems well and good, but yet as my Sweet July closes, I can't help but think how sad I am to see the times end with such dear friends. Yet I do not need to regurgitate all that was said in my previous post, instead I find it funny that my Sweet July has indeed been hijacked by my subconscious thoughts of Sweet November.

Over a month ago I watched Sweet November, yes, yes, that girly movie with Keanu Reeves & Charlize Theron. I can't believe I am admitting that in public, but sure the Capt. does have a soft spot for a sappy movie & and a good cry once in awhile. I can't always be the awesome ass-kicker I am, as I do have an emotional river buried deep inside, and only those with a special compass can find the way to sail down its caring current.

So with all the changes that July would bring, the joke was that this will be "Sweet July". Except I thought there would be role reversals & I would be Charlize Theron (man, if I was her I'd never get myself out of the shower) and Nanda & all my friends who are moving on in life would be Keanu, cause obviously like Keanu they must lack mental processing power since they are leaving Blacksburg and me! So like Charlize I would show them the errors of their life, shower them with love and good times, and they would by their own inclination, change their lives. OK, that's just a brief synopsis, really go watch the movie. (Maybe drink a bottle of wine, put on some candles, and get Enya on the music player; not that's what I do or anything. Just saying.)

So during the whole lunar cycle of July, my heart was slowly opening to the changes all my friends have shown to me. I became Keanu, except not as dumb, (though not by much), and maybe a touch not as sexy, but I'll leave that for you to decide; though I was quite the piece of eye candy when Becky & I went to Club Infinity, but that's a whole nother story. I have opened my heart to a even more sappier and caring side (what, how can this be possible you may be thinking, I mean come on, you were watching chic flics before you were "sappier", so now by that vein of thinking you are on the verge of getting your Man Card revoked).

True, True. But I still appreciate all I have learned. As much as I feel the need to vent that I miss my friends once they move on, that my heart feels like it is sitting on death row waiting for its excution at the end of July, I know that even though I may be losing the ability to see them in town, I can't lose the lesson.

My Lesson is simple, it's not anything new that has never been said before. It's simply tell the people in your life that you love them. That no matter how much you get lost in the sauce of the daily grind, their smile, their touch, their jokes, their laughs, their cries; they all truly mean something. Maybe not at that moment, but later someone will think about that moment and smile. Giving up control is what I learned. No matter how much I don't want life to change and people to move on, it's going to happen. I'm not saying its ever easy to deal with that loss, but remember don't lose the lesson.

Open the wine, get out the tissues, and have a good cry.

One Month and Many Lives Lived

One month since I last visited this time waste called the blog. In a span of a month I went to London, Bruxelles, Blur Concert at Hyde Park, crashed on the pavement, bid farewell to my two best friends from Blacksburg, dorked out on a Scooter, spent 5 days Mountain Biking in WV, and other numerous activities I cannot dispel to the public. Yes, I've been busy & rightly slow. Going into it, I knew the month of July is going to be a test and so far I'd say I'm getting a solid "B-" on it in keeping my head above water.

The Test is keeping myself from sliding into a slump of self-pity over the pain of life's changes & how it hurts when friends move on in their lives. Already I've had to say goodbye to Matt "Stickado" and his wife Rhon"DD"a, my two best friends when they lived in Blacksburg. Now that they are gone, I feel a large piece of me is missing. I always knew that I loved both of them, dearly not queerly, and the day that they would move on in life would be a total suckfest. That day has now come and gone, and the suckfestness has become apparent. I miss you Phillipi'.

Seeing good friends at the 2009 Slatyfork Shuffle in WV is always a good pick me up. My buddy Pat helped put it all in perspective like only he can. We were talking about life changes (he & his wife just had a baby girl 16 months ago), about my relationships with women, and how I seem to be to emotionally focused on the lows, like I prefer the comfort of sorrow.

As we sat on a picnic table in the middle of the Monongahela National Forest drinking beers Pat, in his aged wisdom said:
"So let me get this straight Dan? You are a single guy that just got back from Europe. You have heart pains cause the women you like are not readily available. You have pictures of you smiling with beautiful women at all these amazing places you go. I'm not saying marriage isn't great, but really, be careful what you wish for."

And the way Pat lifted his one eyebrow as he said "be careful what you wish for" was the sign of a married man politely telling the young, single man, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT?!?!?! Touche' old friend, touche'!

Still, I do miss all those who I can not be with. This has been a great month and a month of growing changes. So to all my friends who waste 5 minutes of their lives to read this babble, I do think of you all & I love you all.